Oh, I was in California last week. It was a sunny 70°, breezy, and a lot better than Minnesota, where there is currently snow on the ground.

My driver’s side car door was frozen shut this morning. It is not awesome to have to climb into your car at 7:30 a.m.

I wasn’t about to climb out again in order to scrape the windshields. I just sat in the car until I had enough visibility to get on the road towards work. It’s amazing how a mid-westerner’s ability to see through frost/ice-covered windshields improves in winter-like conditions. (It’s not winter yet.)

Anyway, when I arrived in Los Angeles I had to (1) secure a rental car (2) drive myself from LAX to my hotel in downtown Los Angeles and (3) find some much-needed lunch. I drove by Pink’s, but there was a line out the door. I was starving and needed food rightnow (approximately 3 p.m. Minnesota time, and I hadn’t eaten anything since McDonald’s for an early breakfast around 7 a.m.) so I went to the Village Idiot instead. It was just down the road, after all.

My turkey sandwich (with farm greens) was amazing. I felt very full after eating it, so I wandered around the shops in the area—Melrose in West Hollywood? I’m not sure exactly how to refer to the area, but it was cool. I found the best blue sunglasses for only $10 (featured in photos later, when others are around to take photos of me).

I am always entranced by birds, even when they are just flowers.

After visiting West Hollywood, I went to find real Hollywood.

Advertising was everywhere in Los Angeles. It was huge, it was small, it was obvious, it was subtle… I was just astounded.

I couldn’t get enough of the elephants at the Kodak Theatre. You’ll see.

I had intended to get closer to the Hollywood sign for better photos, but then I got lost a few times and stressed out and wound up at the ocean. Oh, well.

I wish I had taken more photos of all of the wacky celebrity impersonators, but they all wanted money for photos. I should’ve just taken a video and wandered around.

The Walk of Fame was too crowded (note the foot in this photo—I’m mad at that guy). If I’m ever out in Los Angeles again, I’ll go visit it again on a week day.

I met a pirate that looked almost exactly like Johnny Depp (I might’ve drooled a little) and a pirate that didn’t really look at all like Orlando Bloom. I gave them $4 for posing for a photo with me—too bad I didn’t pose, as well.

Michael Jackson v1.0

Grauman’s Chinese Theatre was beautiful. I could’ve spent all day there if it hadn’t been so crowded. I thought about getting a tour, but decided I had too much left to see elsewhere.

Michael Jackson v2.0 (and a much better impersonator)

A guy with the sweatiest hands ever took my photo with Wax Marilyn. Thanks for reminding me to smile, sweaty hand man.

In this photo: Batman, Woody and Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story, Shrek, and a couple other randoms that I can’t identify. I missed getting a photo of the whole Star Wars gang.

See? More photos of elephants.

When I got back to my rental car, I finally realized why all of the Californian drivers were dissing my road skills so much: I got Massachusetts plates!

Next up: getting lost in Santa Monica.